Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Our Story. {Part 1}

It was on my eighth birthday that I first felt the tug to adopt. My Marmee had made my favorite funfetti cake with the most perfect pink frosting & colorful sprinkles on top. I was wearing my rad 101 Dalmatians matching short & shirt outfit & my perfect short blonde hair just right.  I was very anxious about my friends getting there to start the party.... Mom was getting things thrown together. I did what an other American child did when their parents told them to.."WAIT"..... I went & sat in front of the television.....
 I don't know what I was trying to watch. I don't know who was beside me, but this little beautiful face  came on the screen....

I'm sure there was something said about the orphans & how for just "$6 a month- you can send this child to school."

I got up from the floor & went to find my Marmee.
When I found her I asked, "Mom, would it be okay if we went to an orphanage & pass out candy?"

Because Candy is the cure.all...CURE ALL, people!

I'm not sure what my mom thought about that, but her face looked shocked....

 I do remember on my 18th birthday there was another time I surprised her.....  I had to go to the court house & renew my license....
The cranky lady asked me, "Would you like to be an organ donor?" I turned back to my mom and smiled & then added, "Yes, I would!"

Walking out of the courthouse.... she laughed & said, "Beka.... out of all my children.... I never thought YOU would be the one to 1st be an organ donor! None of my children have said YES to that! You always surprise me with your ideas, creations, & who you are becoming!"


Little did we know.... some years later, my brother would be the 1st Phllips kid to donate an organ, to my daddy.... who needed a kidney badly! JP walked a selfless road that day into Mayo & gave LIFE to my dad. I will always be forever grateful to my brother for doing that. REMEMBER JP: I got yo back if you need a new one. ;)  (LOVE YOU JP!)


Just a little glimpse that what you dream as a child..... CAN become a reality... SO SOON!  *****************************



It was a nice fall day in September. September 5th to be exact. My Tristan's 3rd birthday! Zach and I  always joke about BIG NEWS being shared on Tristan's day of birth.   It was a Wednesday afternoon. Tristan & Livia were napping & I was sitting on our couch having my devotions. I love journals. So like any journal-junkie I was writing in my new one with 5 others staring at me with envy. 

As I was reading my devotional for that day. I could hardly breathe when I saw the SCRIPTURE for that day.... (on amazon they will show you what i read that day-just search in the book September 5) 

Isaiah 30:18- "Blessed are all who wait for him!" 
Just before I read that... 
I was on my face crying... I felt convicted by the way I was talking to God. I had been asking him WHY we didn't have a baby on our lap yet, when there were so many that needed a home? WHY couldn't my small house be housing ONE CHILD(that's what our house LEGALLY could fit)  that needs us in the foster system? 

I don't have a good conviction cry. It's ugly. 

I kept saying over and over.... "i surrender... i surrender, Jesus.... It's YOUR story. write what you want." 


I got up. Dried my tears & opened my Bible. 
Zach came in the door & I told him what I was reading & apologized to him for being so consumed by this all. He said he never noticed my wild ways.... & that he loved me. *what a good man* 

My phone rang and I looked down to see a number I didn't know....


Zach looked at me and smiled &  JOKINGLY......... said, "I bet they have a baby for us." 

I hit the GREEN button on my iphone and said, "Hello?" 
Professional person: "Hi, Beka. This is  _____ . "
ME: " HEY!"
Professional: "Well, I am calling to see if you would be interested in having a child placed with you?"
Me: "YES! I would!
Professional: "Well, If you could just be here within the hour or whenever you can get here that would be great! I'll have the baby at my office, so you can come there!"
Me: "OKAY! I AM ON MY WAY! Oh yeah, is it a boy or girl?" 
Professional: "It is a girl. Her name is Maria."
Me: "I am on on my way!" 

CLICK*

On the 30 minute drive there..... 
God whispered to me...
"Name her Eva."

I was taken back by this.
AFTER ALL....
 FOSTER CARE. A word that people cringe when they hear. 

"Oh I know So & So went and had a child in their home & the child was taken from them and they were crushed"
There are many sad stories. 
But for every sad story- there are AT LEAST 10 good stories. 
If you haven't heard one before- keep reading. ;) 

I will never forget the moment when I walked into that office. The Professional woman was talking about paper work & smiling..... :) She was giving me the details about Eva's  situation.
 I wanted to leap, scream, & dance. 

But when I saw her... I saw "Maria"... My mommy heart went silent. She was beautiful. just beautiful. She had the skin I have always dreamed about having ever since I was a child. She had the tiniest hands and feet....almost like a newborn. Her dark hair with that perfect nose...... melted my heart. Her tiny stick out ears..... I felt Peace come over me. I loved her. It was such a different love. An overwhelming love..... I wouldn't be able to explain it if I didn't know Jesus. But the thought occurred to  me today that it was a desperate & pure love.

 A love that didn't need an invitation, it didn't need a 9 month preparation time,  it didn't need a baby shower overwhelmed with emotion, it didn't need a GO HOME from the hospital cute outfit..... Love came RUSHING in my heart...breaking down any fears I had of her being taken away & just as fast as it came rushing in..........PEACE........came in! It calmed my heart. 
His Peace.

This picture of Zach holding our DREAM, our daughter in his arms is the very 1st photo I took of Eva.



*photo was taken on the day AFTER Eva came to us*




Eva's very first SMIRK she gave to me. (caught on camera) 
I start to cry when I see her little hand holding tight to Zach's shirt. 
She still does that. To you it's something any normal child would do, but to me.... as Eva's mommy... it's God showing me----- she is ours. She clings to the people she knows and loves..... She knows she is OURS. She knows she belongs. She knows she is loved. She thrives with routine! She aches for our arms. 


Thank you for reading & keep the Fox family in your prayers. 
Adoption doesn't end on GOTCHA DAY.
Adoption is a lifelong journey. 

"My friends, ADOPTION is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive & outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him." -unknown


If you are interested in foster care or ADOPTION.
Please join the FOX TEAM & check out these websites below on how you can get more info & get involved!

http://icareaboutorphans.org
(out of state)

http://iowakidsnet.org
(state of iowa)








6 comments:

  1. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing a piece of your journey! Prayers for you! - Jacklynn

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  2. Just weeping through your whole post. Beka, you are an inspiration. God is using you BIG! Thank you for that story, my heart is burdened in a good way, For all those orphans out there. I will continue to pray for your family. God Bless, God bless!!!!

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  3. Blessings to you for opening your home and hearts!!!

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  4. Thank you for sharing your story!!! Sending love to you and your beautiful family!! XO

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  5. hey girl! It's bumberjoy :) I finally had a chance to check out your blog and sat in a puddle of blubbery tears reading this. You are inspiring and a beautiful vessel for Christ and I can't wait to read more. Must go to bed now though. I think we are really going to be good friends, I feel it, in a non-creepy way. ha!

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Thanks for leaving some LOVE. :)