Thursday, October 17, 2013

ADOPTION.

DISCLAIMER:
We are celebrating Eva by having her GOTCHA SHOWER tonight.
I have been an emotional mess all day.... thinking back to the beginning days.....
these days that I am going to share with you. Please know that I can't share everything, due to privacy/laws. But hear this momma's heart...... 



 Eva came home to us in September & things have never been the same.
Adoption is not only REDEMPTION, but it is a journey that doesn't end on Gotcha Day.
We are walking this beautiful road with our daughter. 
Just like bringing any child home, there are adjustments & when situations arise.....
Zach and I would sit down & talk about things. 
We would talk it over & make necessary changes.... 

I once read somewhere....
"Your ministry starts --->where your tears start." 
In this journey to redemption, I have cried... a lot.
I have cried with Eva.
I have cried for Eva.
I have cried over Eva.
I have cried.....

THIS IS MOTHERHOOD.
You are hearing from a momma.......
 that is crying & praying that God would undo anything evil that has taken place in Eva's life before she came to us.
THIS IS MOTHERHOOD.
One thing that God has been echoing in my heart, quiet time, broken times....
is that the road to redemption is one where you have to stop & help ALL people...
you have to stop and fix what was done & have God make it right.
You have to at times... make "sacrifices" & choose not to be the social butterfly that you are....
You have to say NO more.... or  Not right now!
You have to know that YOUR HOME is a new place for this child....
You have to realize this child needs to learn each room & the  new smell that come with these new people.
You have to stop....pray.....& sometimes sit quietly....
You have to let the ERGO do its magic & show bonding.
Then there are times....
You have to stand up and FIGHT for your children.
You have to pray...and I MEAN P R A Y. 
You have to make tough decisions.... & seek wisdom on different subjects that are too touchy...(so I won't mention them!) 
You have to stop & help people on the way understand why you chose this road.....
Sometimes it can be a lonely road, but knowing GOD IS SOVEREIGN. 

THIS IS MOTHERHOOD.
At times....
Things have to get so dark, before you can see the glimpse of LIGHT that God is trying to show you all along.
That LIGHT is HIM.
Rest in Him. 
 I can remember a moment when I was terribly weak. Eva was starting to open up to us.... & by that... I mean cry... a lot. I mean... A lot, A lot.... And for those of you that don't know... A baby's cry.... does something to me...DEEP. I mean, D E E P. It rattles me to my core. Not just a sassy cry, that's not the cry that gets me. It's the cry that ....... She doesn't know what is going on..... She doesn't know these people.... She doesn't know that we love her.... that we care for her yet.... That we want to soothe her.  My favorite pastor(my dad) was preaching on a CONSECRATED SOUL. He said,
"The most dangerous prayer you can pray is this.....
God, Take me as I am. Make me what I ought to be. BODY. SOUL. SPIRIT. NO matter what the cost!" 

That was it. Something clicked in this momma's mind. Eva needs to know I am CONSECRATED TO HER. No matter the cost... No matter how many times it takes me to feed her that bottle.... or... I should say...for her TO LET ME feed her that bottle rather than go in her swing...... NO matter how many times I have to sing "Jesus Loves Me" or "He Knows My Name!" ..... I will do it. Because after all, I am doing this for HIM..... for Jesus to be glorified in this CHILD.

Once I started to capture that prayer & put it into great practice.....
Eva caught on.
Sure, There are times when she starts to cry..... but day by day... we are getting there.
The Journey to Redemption is not a sprint, but a very, very, very long marathon. :)
No doubt about it, I am so blessed. Blessed that we told Jesus... YES.
Blessed that God gave us EVA. OUR EVA to begin this journey.
Blessed that my husband captured God's heart for adoption. 
Blessed beyond words to be their mommy. 
Blessed to see Eva grow. Blessed to see Eva be healthy & open up to friendships.
Blessed to see Eva let people love her. hold her. 
Blessed to be Eva's plan B. 
Blessed to be Jesus' hands to her. 

Friends. 
I hope that if you are hearing the CALL to ADOPT....
that you will simply say YES to HIM. Because that's all it takes.
THE MONEY comes in. The peace floods your soul.
The preparation time is growing time.
That you may know...
GOD IS STILL SOVEREIGN. 
That He WILL use your family to heal a child.
AND that you will see healing IN YOUR MARRIAGE and GROWTH in your family by saying YES.
That  you will see that TODAY matters.
That TODAY is the day for REDEMPTION.
Even if it's just for one child! 
Say YES... & watch JESUS work through your family.


xoxo.



4 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing!!! I SO appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. beautiful.
    redemption is costly. and beautiful.
    blessed by your heart & obedience.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh Eva you are a picture of redemption love! Tears over here!! I love you and your little familia & you have influenced us all to step outside our safe boxes and see a need & to share our love regardless what it cost us. Blessed you are and I feel so blessed to have read this tonight!! Love you girl:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Soo soo beautiful!! Adoption is not for the faint of heart! But if God gives you the gift, I fully believe He gives the tools to guide them through!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for leaving some LOVE. :)