Monday, July 23, 2012

My confession.

I'm about to tell you something that has been hard for me to talk about....
So...
here
we
go


Every stage of life brings new insecurities. 
When you think you have "being single" down....
BOOM.
You start dating...
Once you get "Dating" down....
BOOM.
You are engaged.
Once you get "Engaged" down....
BOOM.
You are married.
Once you get "I'm married" down....
BOOM.
You have a baby,
Repeat until you have your limit of babies. ;)

I've been in this "new season" of Married + babies for almost 3 years now. (4 years of marriage in AUGUST!!!!!!!) 
Anyway.

Back to my ramblings.

It's always been hard for me to dream.
Ok. 
there I said it.
Yes.... DREAM.
Dream of our lives 10 years from now.
Dream about MUSIC/leading worship!
Dream about feeling FREE from insecurities.

both photos VIA
 Looking back, I can't believe I am MARRIED + 2 babies. I can't believe I am sitting here thinking back to all these WONDERFUL days... Wedding day,  Tristan's Birth, Liv's Birth.... 
I've experienced & loved these wonderful TIMES! I truly am living in the BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.

So... why am I thinking I can't dream? 
Why am i discouraged? 
why do i feel beaten down and that
 my dreams are so far out of reach?
I was doing my daily reading this AM & boom..... (i've used that word too much!) 
THERE IT IS.
The Scripture GOD wanted me to have.....
 It's not about MY dreams. It's about HIS dreams being birthed INSIDE my heart. It's all about HIS name being KNOWN. It's not about what man thinks of me. It's what HE sees!  I, Beka Fox, have LET GO of the things I "knew" were my dreams.... & now it's HIS turn to mold me. have me.... create me into HIS dreamer.
The story of Joseph(genesis 37)... AWE, what a beautiful story of a DREAMER. But the thing I CAUGHT this time around in reading it was this.....  Joseph didn't just "dream"..... They were dreams NO ONE has ever dreamt before.... Something new. Something different. 
You see, I want Jesus to dream in me something NEW. something DIFFERENT.... something that I will get... just between God and myself.
Keep fighting. Keep FIGHTING for your DREAMS! Keep Dreaming, my friends! In every SEASON, stage, & SEASON of life.... KEEP DREAMING! 

Do you have a dream inside your heart? 
Is it hard for you to dream?
What season of life was it hardest for you to dream?





9 comments:

  1. U-mazing.

    xo
    purposelyathome.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. You are so sweet. THank you for your ENCOURAGING words.

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  2. Really loved and needed to read this today beka! so beautifully expressed.
    Keep on Dreaming girl!!!:)

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    Replies
    1. My sweet friend! Thank you! I hope we can encourage each other more to DREAM!

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  3. I love you! And I swear we are the same person sometimes! You made me tear up Momma! Also, please pray for my P he is in Jamaica and becoming very discouraged. He wants so badly to just go and share the gospel with every person he walks by but has been told they don't have time for that. :(
    Breaks my heart, he didn't want to go without me anyway.
    Love you and I too am currently living my dream! Want to be living His dream though ;)

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  4. you are a blessing! I think it is hard for me to dream sometime too. I let the world choke out my dreams, or let the world tell me they are too great! But nothing is too great for God. I definitely think he is tugging my heart into mission work! Maybe even local missions but I dream of helping people and letting them know how much God loves them! Thank you for this little reminder!

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  5. Just stumbled upon your blog and this scripture is exactly what I've been needing lately. Thank you for sharing!

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  6. i LOVE this and i LOVE you. keep dreaming! thank you for encouraging me to dream :) it can be hard to, but i'm thankful we have Jesus and each other to encourage along the way!!! XOXO

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  7. i absolutely love this! lovely blog girl! keep 'em comin'!

    love, rach.
    www.so--hi.blogspot.com

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Thanks for leaving some LOVE. :)