That word comes to mind with my blog....

Other things too, but mostly......... it's been a whirlwind of a month!

TOP NEWS for me:

I have 6 weeks left until baby Livia arrives.

My feet are not swollen.

My husband is a very good house cleaner.

Spinach dip is my obsession.... okay... anything spinach-y.

Heartburn is really setting in..... I hope she has lots of hair!

In times like these........... I look to humor........

I mean it. We have 6 weeks left....... Waddling is an understatement and sleep is an every 5 hour event.

Here are some jokes I found online...

So... Here I sit in my recliner with my favorite new PJ's....... & my spinach dip...........

I raise my glass of water on the rocks to my pregnant friends out there!!


Should I have a baby after 35?
~No, 35 children are enough.

Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
~Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

My husband and I are very attractive. I’m sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
~Your therapist.

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
~With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
~If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
~Yes, your bladder.

What is the most common pregnancy craving?
~For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?

The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
~‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.

My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
~So what’s your question?

What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
~Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him.

I normally wear a size 34-C bra. Now that I’m pregnant, should I continue to wear a bra?
~Not if you don’t mind switching in the future to a size 34-Long.

Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
~Depends on what you’re doing with them.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
~Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
~Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

When is the best time to get an epidural?
~Right after you find out your pregnant.

How long is the average woman in labor?
~Whatever she says, divided by two.

Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
~Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

What does it mean when the baby’s head is crowning?
~It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

What are forceps?
~Giant baby tweezers.

Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
~Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

I’m modest. Once I’m in the hospital to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position?
~Authorized personnel only - doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
~It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.


  1. ohhhhh myyy gooodnesssssss! I laughed my way through this post... HYSTERICALLY! loved those jokes. toooooo funny! you had me crying over here!

    enjoy your last 6 weeks lady! i hope you can get some rest... those last weeks can be hard but also so fun and full of expectation! how wonderful that Z is cleaning the house for you! what a good hubby!

    ooo i just can't wait to see the gorgeous pictures you'll take of lovely Livia!!!

  2. Hilarious, and I'm not even a momma!

    Keep smiling:) you're almost there!

  3. hahahah :) Cracked me up!
    Can't wait to see little Livia! Love, love love the name btw :)

  4. The jokes were funny, but the best line was "I raise my glass of water on the rocks to you pregnant ladies out there." HAHAHAHAHHAHA

  5. HUMOR helps anything to move quickly!!! LOVE the jokes :) Hang in there...YOUR almost there!

  6. YOU ARE SOOO FUNNY BOO! I love it. 6 weeks will go sooooooo fast :) I CANT WAIT TO SEE HER!

  7. oh so so so so so so funny!! Oh and heartburn..ugh....


    I am due aug 7th.

    we found a doula and midwife we like and trust. we are having a homebirth.

    ;) thanks for your comment on my blog. Sadly, I had an extensive birth plan also with my 1st. The birth plan went out the window though.... this time will be different!


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