Here is my 1st GUEST POST! It is none other than KATE @ Mommy Monologues.
I am so excited about this!!!
ENJOY reading what comes straight from Kate's HEART!
A little about myself: my name is Kate. I write over at http://www.mommymonologues.com/">Mommy
I'm learning how to be a "Domesticated Diva" one day at a time & I've gone&from a non chores, let's travel the world kind of gal to a SAHM.) I'm a first time mom to 13 month old, Lboy, wife to my amazing husband, Todd, & doggy mommy to Giorgio, my 5 lb beast of a yorkie. Beka asked me a LOOOONG time ago to write this post and it has taken me forever to get it written mostly because this post has been evolving over the last few months & I think it has finally come to an end....so here I go....
My Big Decision
Where do mothers draw the line between motherhood & their individual self? It's a question that I ask myself frequently. There are so many moments where I have to say, "Sorry kiddo, but I have to go do this for myself." There are times when I HAVE get out of the house or I will go insane--even if it's just driving around in the car for 10 minutes. Or there are times I have to exercise or I have to go out to eat with my husband & leave Lboy with a babysitter. But there are also a ton of times when I have to sacrifice "me time" so that I can take care of my family.
I was three weeks into my first semester as a graduate student when I found out I was pregnant. I finished my first year of school & knew that I wanted to stay home with him. For me, staying home with Lboy was the only choice and somehow it all worked out so that I could take a year off of school. It was also a HUGE sacrifice--not only financially, but also personally because down to the very core of who I am, I want a master's degree. I want that level of education so I can claim it as mine, all mine--something I did for me (this is one reason among many--If I listed them all Beka would probably kill me.)
And now, it's time to go back to school on August 24. I have to take 18 hours this fall, Lboy will have to go to a daycare & then have a babysitter pick him at 5 two days a week & put him to bed. Todd & I will get home from class (he's also a graduate student) at 10 pm & then we will start all over the next day. When I graduate, student loan payments will be as large as my mortgage, which is INSANE. I haven't been able to find a daycare (though 2 very wonderful people have offered to take care of him in the evenings.) The few daycares where I have our name on a list are going to cost $800.00 a month--y'all that is an insane amount of money that I don't have (think they'd take monopoly money? No? Ah well, worth a shot.) All in all the obstacles are feeling astronomically large.And IF I knew in the deepest part of my heart that I wanted to be a counselor (master's in social work) more than anything in the world then I wouldn't be sitting here wondering about whether or not if I should go to school this August. But I now have this voice that keeps asking "What's best for Lboy? What's best for your family? In the long run what's best for you?" And you know, I'm not sure if going to school is the best option for me anymore. It's a constant debate running in my head.
So where do mothers draw the line between what they really want and what is best for their family? Two years ago, I was in school. It was what was best for me. I was allowed to be selfish (for a lack of a better word.) Now, is school what is best for us? I'm not quite sure. I have been spending a lot of time praying, a lot of time thinking about this, and a lot of time talking with Todd. And the time to decide has come. Stop by my place some time to find out what I decided to do.
If you are wanting to be a GUEST BLOGGER at Confessions of a NEW MOM.
Inbox me @ Bekafox9@gmail.com
THANKS SO MUCH!