Monday, February 8, 2010

Bachelor Jake. Part 6.

Barbie/Peacock girl is GONE. 
Can I get a clip-clip?!
[hahahahahahahhahahaha!]

I know. I know. Some of you reading my blog really liked Ali. 
i am sorry. 
You might not want to read THIS blog. *wink*
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still here?

Alright. blah. blah. blah.
Lets dive right into the juicy stuff....

Ali leaves.
[note: there is going to be some of "so steve says" in this blog. 
www.realitysteve.com ---> do not go unless you want ALL the juice. 

RUMOR = Steve HAS IT that Ali works for facebook & has tried out for MULTIPLE reality TV shows. [KEY WORD: MULTIPLE!!!!!]
Question: Why would Ali need to go back to work? Is facebook THAT desperate to get her back? 
The new LAYOUT is too confusing for the other employees? 
Do I smell a producer? 
hmmmm....
Ok. I can't hold it in any longer. 
ALI.
IS.
A.
BIG.
BIG.
INCREDIBLY.
LARGE.
elf's word-
GINORMOUS.
b.a.b.y.

Did she really tell Chris Harrison she needed more time?
Did she really wear her hair in a pony tail for the rose ceremony?
Did she really go for a run and then put a dress on and come to the rose ceremony?
Did she really leave Jake to go pursue her job as a Facebookian?
Does she really cry like that? 
Does she really call Jake next week?
If she comes back, I bet she wears a yellow bikini
Did she really want Jake to say, "STAY!!! STAY! I PICK YOU! LET'S ELOPE RIGHT NOW!"
R.I.P.
.......................Ali.......................


Thank you for bringing such laughter to my life.... 

a little recap on Ali's life on The Bachelor....
shall we? we shall....
#1. Peacock feather.
Awe, yes. When she tried to hide it behind her back. I knew she was special then.
#2. Yellow.
multiple dresses are flashing before my eyes. 
#3. clips.
nuff' said about those horrid things...
#4. Your hate for V.
something we share.

Is that all I remember about her? 
yep.

Other random thoughts about tonight:

Jake's scarf---> looked like a Boa going in for the kill. That thing was so long & it was SOOO HIGH on his neck. Do you really think he owned that? 
Jake's cheesy lines---> "One of the many goals in life is to not have any regrets."
"I've been waiting to see you all week!" x4 
"You bring such happiness to my life."
"I have fallen for you" x4
"I feel a connection to her!" x4
x4 = said. it. to. all. of. them. 

He must have read so many Fortune cookies that day.
Jake: "OoooH! This is a ceeper! Vienne will MELT with this line!"

Here is the rest of my recap for ya'll.

Vienne--->

her dad and her need to get. a. grip! 
she is a sneaky 23 year old that shouldn't be on this show.
She is in it for ALL the wrong reasons....
Also. She needs to LEARN how to sit. 
On their date---I was CRACKIN up. 
Does she really expect us to believe she is an OUTDOORS GIRL!?
Vienne: "lake & outdoors is me. This is so me." 
PUUUUUUUUUU-lease. 
She didn't even see the turtle 1st. Jake did.
She COULDN'T even see the ALLIgator. Jake did.
HA! Crackin' me up tonight!
Did anyone else notice Jake's ACCENT coming in when he was talking to her dad in his garage? 
it would come in and out at random points in his sentences....

Tenley--->

You. are. so. sweet. 
My heart melts for her. 
I could see that her heartache was real and that her break up was a legit story when I saw her parents crying..... Amazing girl.....
She got 2 strikes tonight...
She wore that Green Poncho looking dress to the rose ceremony.
2---> she danced for him. 
SAAAAYYYY WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?
I just wanted....ok ok ok.... I WAS yelling at the TV saying.. "NOT YET! Don't give him your heart yet.... he won't pick you for sure now...! how horrible...." 
oo...OOOOHHHH... forgot... 
her little accessory with the Green Poncho dress...
Yes... All together now..
The BACHELORETTE MOTTO:
"If in doubt, put a belt around it!" 


Gia--->
you don't get a picture.
i don't like you.
it makes me sick to think you have made it this far. 
When Jake was looking at Gia's picture and he said, 
"there is something about Gia. I just don't know. It's not her beauty."
i.
pointed.
to.
her.
lips.
WE ALL KNOW WHY YOU ARE KEEPING HER AROUND.
Swimsuit model = WARM TROPICAL Place.
duuuh.
My guess is you get the BOOT next week. :) If Ali would have stayed.... you would have been GONE.

MOST HILARIOUS PART OF THE WHOLE NIGHT!
the deleted scene from Gia's mom "reading Jake's cards."
HILARIOUS.
Jake just flat out said, "NO!"
i wept. 



My bet is Gia gets the BOOT next week.
TOP 2: Vienne the snake & Tenley the sweetheart that sounds like Minnie Mouse...



START-A-PACKIN, Gia! 

10 comments:

  1. Amen. Amen. Amen. I'm annoyed at how Ali's clips don't keep her hair back...Glad she is gone...Really, when it comes down to it, I don't like ANY of them. AT ALL. I hope he walks away from the show and doesn't pick ANY girl...I'd stand and clap. Knowing him, he will.

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  2. You make me laugh! I love your bachelor posts!! :-) Everything I was thinking.... Your great!

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  3. Very Funny...I will have to say that initially I did like Ali...but then she started getting out of control with the yellow...but then I had to check myself..."really am I that shallow to stop liking someone because their choice of dress code annoys me?" Maybe she just really likes yellow. So then I started to cheer on for Tenley. True, she is a sweet girl...but I think she is too broken from her previous marriage to persue a SERIOUS relationship... I only have one word for Gia "JOKER" (her lips). And Vienna...I wont even waste words...Nonetheless, Out of all the hometown dates Jake "appeared" to be VERY into Tenley and Ali (note those were the two he asked for the hand in marriage).

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  4. Beka,

    Did u notice how he said at least 3 times "i really connected with your family, I love your mom!" When he said it too Gia I was like are you kidding she was crazy! I didn't hate Alis hometown date but then it went down hill after that! And her rose ceramony dress was HORRIBLE! she had to keep making sure the girls werent popping out! Agreed with V and her dad then her parents bragging about the cars shes broke i was like really! thats not a good thing! If Tenley doesn't win I will be annoyed!

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  5. i do agree with you for most of this.
    but honesty the only person i see him marrying is ali.
    tenley bores me to death , like i love her and all but shes soo boring.
    gia forget about her
    and vienna dont get me started. i dont gethow jake can't see that shes so UHH. horrible.
    but apparently he chooses her.
    and it breaks my heart to say it. but ali ain't coming back. and if ali stayed. HE WOULD HAVE CHOSEN HER. its so obvious. but her move ruined it. she cant get him anymore. by leaving ruined all chances , even though he clearly was falling for her more then anyone.

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  6. LOVED your post about the bachelor recap! I did not get a chance to add mine this week... but yours summed it up perfectly! I laughed through the whole thing, and agreed 100%

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  7. @ Anonymous # 1--> pretty sure it was just the editing job.. I'm sure Jake asked for all 4 of their hands...... That would make the most sense... I don't think they would just show 2 to "give it away".......


    @ Anonymous #2--> I guarantee the reason why Ali left has SOMETHING to do with her being the next bachelorette.......I bet they offered her it.... so that's why she left....

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  8. bekaa. :)
    i love reading all of these bachelor things! they are soo interesting. i hope ali's the next bachelorette..kinda.. but i disagree with you on the Gia part. i LOVE her & she is gorgeous.. i don't think she's right for jake though. but that doesn't change how much i liked her. tenley SHOULD win. but im pretty sure vienna gets him. grrr. :(

    -mon

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  9. Tenely is very boring..as for her special dance for Jake..that was a dance???? I was embarassed for both of them..Jake can look foward to a lifetime of having Tenely clomp around in her akward so called dance routine..but Jake deserves it..he could have chosen Gia...the graceful and classy REAL dancer..the more i see of Jake the more i see what he is about..and it ain't pretty

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  10. Teela displayed abalanced set the outer lips were there, certainly, but the inner ones werealso present, with little pinkish brown tags that were currently spread tooffer just a glimpse into her coral pink core. ever louder.
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    Teela displayed abalanced set the outer lips were there, certainly, but the inner ones werealso present, with little pinkish brown tags that were currently spread tooffer just a glimpse into her coral pink core. ever louder.

    ReplyDelete

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