Bachelor Jake. Part 5.

Hellooo San Fran.
Goodbye Corrie
are we shocked? not the least bit. 

Can you believe how BORING tonight's episode was? You KNEW who was going to be kicked off and well..... lets just get started.... because this is just too much for me to keep bottled in.

You're a very sweet person. I like you with Jake. You are a cute couple. I am sorry that you just got to go to China Town. That date was horrible for this show. DOWNERRR. Please work on your voice pitch. At times, I want to push mute
Love, me

Girrrrrrrl! No need for lip plumper, but I need to know something... Why don't your lips move? I mean MOOOOVVVVEEEE. Get any work done? No? Okay, still trying to keep it under raps? Gotch-ya!
I was also wondering about your hair. Yes, do you think that you could maybe, possibly, keep it outta yo' face!  I know it makes Jake makeout with you more than any of the other ladies. Maybe Jake is wanting to makeout with you because you are a swimsuit model? Or maybe, is it because you are a PUMA? Or is it because kids picked on you and stole your backpack? Welp! Anyway, Sad to say you will be gone and Jake will probably weep when you leave knowing his makeout girl is gone..... Take your belts with you. 
Love, Me

Dear Vienna,
You. Are. A. Baby. Who in the world wanders around in a castle on their OWN doing & starts to
 C-R-Y and call out for Jake?!?! Yep. Only 6 year olds do that. BUT WAIT, isn't that the type of relationship you told Jake you wanted when you got married? That of a 6 year old? Yep. You are crazy! Let me just say to you, If you leave your SHARED bedroom & go see the "Prize" as you like to call him and leave the "other girl" to go see him and HE KNOWS the other girl is up there knowing you were with him.... doing WHO KNOWS WHAT.
Also, your sloppy- side bun for the Rose Ceremony----> Never again!!
....Don't turn into Ali-Cat!!!! WALK. AWAY. 
love, me

Dear Corrie, 
When did you get on the show?!? 
Oh well. Nice to see you for a couple of episodes.
Your limo interview. Um, you. were. wasted. 
Thanks for the good laugh! I didn't laugh at all the whole show!! But when you got
into that LIMO and began to talk...... I wept. Thanks! 
Love, Me

Dear Peacock Girl, 
Thank you for not being such a MEAN GIRL tonight. You still drive me crrrrazy, but not as crazy as Gia's hair/lips/belts do.  Okay, maybe you do...I think you will be going home soon. Maybe next week? Start a packin, lady! Get all your yellow big bird dresses together & don't forget to grab your clips & bobbie pins for your granny bun. Now that we are on the hair topic, Thank you for combing your hair and having it down for once and by down I mean, not the wispy/stringy bangs in the front. Also, I know you are crazy... because you ran into the water with your BOOTS ON. Crazy girl. Jake is not worth ruining shoes over. 
Love, Me

What is everyone thinking about next weeks preview? Who is going to go?  I am not sure, but I think it might be Ali or Gia.

hoping he just kills 2 birds  puma's with 1 rose and gets them both outta there. 
Then Vienna can go.
Then----TENLEY can have him. 

Can't wait to hear what ya'll are thinkin.........


  1. I LOVE your recaps!!!!! I was thinking the exact same thing about Ali's boots. I did like a triple take, I even thought, she's not wearing rain boots, is she? Nope! oh. my.

  2. HA, Beka...
    I thought this episode was great! I mean, not great, but considering the WHOLE season, this was by FAR the best one. I think they are all nuts and I still don't like any of them. Tenley is very cute. I like her the most. The rest of the girls drive me insane. Nice recap. I agree.

  3. I love your recap each week... I am still amazed at how the show is going...did you see the preview for next week? I am confused...?

  4. i once again completly agree Gia will go how next week but i think it will be Ali and Tenley in the final two... But that being said I don't like Ali. I just think V is to immature for him and wish he would see that! And I COMPLETLY AGREE with V's NASTY HAIR! When I saw it I was like Beka is SOOOO gonna recap that mess! lol

  5. Don't you give any props to Corrie for standing up and saying she was saving herself for marriage?? I don't watch the show to "regularly" so I guess I don't know what she's really all about though...

    Nice recap - you always make me laugh!!

  6. I had an issue with Corrie... first seriously, why was she still there. They NEVER had anthing between them. SERIOUSLY! Ok, that being said, when she told him that she was a virgin, I thought cool! A girl who has morals and knows what she wants and I loved that about her. HOWEVER! I was so MAD when she talked to Jake before the rose ceremony almost to back off what she had stated. It was like she was wishywashy. "Just because I am a virgin, doesn't mean I don't have a sensual side." Or " I just didn't want you to put me in that stereotype" REALLY! What is that suppost to mean... Say what you mean and mean what you say. I was LIVID! Glad she is gone. Don't completely agree with you on some of the other girls but we will see!!! :) Love you!!

  7. Nice recap, I have to agree to disagree. Vienna has to go she is to immature and wants to be treated like a princess and wants him all to herself. Does she realize that he is a pilot and will be home probably 2 maybe 3 nights of the week, if that, and she thinks she will be able to live with him being away. She can't even live with him being away right now. Grow up girl. Ali was great at first but she needs to focus on him and not Vienna. Tenley, is probably the most relaxed on you can tell that she is in this for Jake and to win his heart. After all she has been married before and knows what it is like to lose someone to somebody else. She is being very open about everything and I think he admires that, but as with every one of these episodes the stupid dumb girl gets picked so I am sure Vienna or Gia will win Jakes heart.

  8. Thanks all for commenting!

    @ Ria---> I agree with what Brittany said. That's why I didn't give her any props. She said one thing one day and then when he didn't take the bait, changed her mind....

    @ Brit...let me guess... you like Ali AND GIA............. ;)

    @ JAMES. I think you are the 1st boy to write on here! LOL! WAY TO GO!!


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