Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Bachelor Jake. Part 4.

Boys watch/love U.F.C.
Girls watch/love The Bachelor. 
oops. I mean. We watch it. 

mr. dateless
[note: long post b/c i have a lot to say about this night]
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Ooooooh yeah, Because we all have a little MEAN girl inside of us that loves to come out and watch these crazy/desperate women & then WE get to pick at every little thing they say, do, or wear..... hence,
my blog! 


Let me go off on a bunny trail and  point something out to all the city girls that are reading this post.
Jake. is. not. country. 
 My reasons?
Country people do not fly planes or pretend that they do.  
Country people do NOT go on the Bachelor/ Bachelorette. 
Country people do not wear harley leather & ride their bike all across the California Coast. 
Country MEN do not practice taking off their shirt. (oh. you know he does.) 
Country men do not get spray on tans.

IIIIIII could go on but I shall stop there and go to these so called "women."....


Gia. [No need for a picture because her lips say it all] 


DID ANYONE else notice that when she talks SHE CANNOT MOVE HER LIPS!?!?
Someone got a little. work. done. 
She got the coveted 1-1 Date with Jakey. Oops, I mean Mr. Dateless. 
Really? REALLY, Jake?! 
You didn't get kissed until your Jr. year in high school and somehow you ended up on the Bachelor...where you have kissed every girl...
BOY! He made up for those 10 years before his "1st kiss"..... 
  What was even MORE pathetic was Gia trying to say she was the "nerd".....
Really? Is that how you became a swim suit model? Your confidence level was so "low" from being a nerd in high school that you thought.... 
"I will go to New York and become a swim suit model.
Quote of the night by Jake: "I love Gia's spontaneous side, right when we got there she wanted to play hide in seek!" 


*big breathe*
BAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!
[note to the women that didn't watch..they played spin the bottle a little later!]
Yesssss...... THAT right there is SPONTANEOUS. WATCH OUT! I don't know what she will ask to do next! Duck, Duck, Goose, perhaps?
Going back ladies... remember... she was wearing stilettos with this jacket type thing that she didn't close all the way and put a BELT around it. Because if in doubt, PUT A BELT AROUND IT! It looked like someone cut her dress like the "twin" did in Parent Trap the ORIGINAL!
(not the stupid one with lindsay lohan)  
I don't know about you, but I wept with laughter while watching Gia run and hide in her stilettos. What made me hit the floor was when Jake went to find her. I bet that was hard....... [they were in a VINEYARD]
I thought to myself while watching this show... I wonder if when the women applied for this season if this was asked...


"Have you at any time in your life been admitted to the Psychiatric Ward?
[CHECK]


Guarantee, they all placed a little X in that box.
Or if it was Ali, she probably put an "A" in it. 
She is ALL about herself, isn't she?
[for all you TEAM ALI people-now is the time to leave]


I can't get over Ali/barbie/PEACOCK GIRL!
This little paragraph on Ali is entitled, 

[another belt]


"Did anyone else?"
Did anyone else notice her claws being filed?
Did anyone else notice the assortment of clips she had laying on the counter while getting ready? [pretty sure she saved them since 1990]
Did anyone else notice she saved the roses and carried them on the bus?
 [bet she will burn those soon]
Did anyone else notice the little SWIRL bun hairstyle she did?
Did anyone else notice the "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU" face she had on at the end of the rose ceremony?
Did anyone else notice she was wearing yellow.... AGAIN!?
Did anyone else notice the little wisp's she let down in the front of her face?
Did anyone else notice that she is still RIPPING into Vienne?
Did anyone else notice they didn't show anything Vienne said or did?
good. glad we can all see these things.
Jesse[nervous girl]

[another belt]
Nervous Girl is GONE.
That will teach her to RAT out on Vienne.
Note: her jeans in this picture.
I am pretty sure they go with her CAT WOMAN dress she wore at the rose ceremony last night. I wish I could find a picture of it for you... It would make your day a little brighter.....
It was like the designer couldn't decide where to put the straps on....off the shoulder...on the shoulder...off the shoulder... on the shoulder... HOW ABOUT BOTH!? ok. 


ella.
[bachelor style joke coming]

Ella is no longer under Jake's umbrella..ella..ella...hey. hey.
[sorry. had to]
GO BACK HOME TO YOUR SON!
I get so upset at these women that LEAVE their children to "find love".....
gage. YOUR SON will be watching this...OH! You know he will be because the type of women that go on this show WILL BE WATCHING themselves on it later. Probably setting their TVoooooo every  Monday night. 


ON A GOOD NOTE
I am happy to see SO many women go this week. Nothing like CUTTIN' OUT THE WEEDS.
I can breathe better already.


Ashleigh. 

This girl was so into herself. I couldn't believe how many times they had to **BLEEP** out what she was saying while leaving when JAKE gave her the BOOT.
I am pretty sure she made her mother push MUTE while watching it.....


YIKES! Well, Miss. Ashleigh... 2 words... PEACE OUT!!!!


Kathryn, the flight attendant.

I am glad she & her barney dress are gone.
She was so RUDE. Just plane RUDE to JAKE.
"then why do you always ignore me?"
HELLOOOOOOOO. He's not into you. Come on! You can't see that?!?!
START A PACKIN! 
get over yourself and stop TWITCHING your eyes.
Seriously. I had to look away when he was talking to her because she could NOT look him in the eyes without TWITCHING!!!


Phew. I don't know how much more DRAMA I can handle. 
LAAAWRD, Ali is on my new "If I could punch someone in the face and not get in trouble for it LIST!"
.....oh.... you don't have one of those??
me either. 
...........
...................................
........................
.........


Tenley.

She got the rose tonight from the Group date.
well deserved.
She is probably the most "tame" girls on this show.
Next weeks previews look intense though, so that last sentence might not be true.
Tenley could be puttin' on her gloves to fight Vienne.


Vienne.

HA! Jake sure told you, didn't he?
uhh. I found Mr. Dateless'  little "you better start being nice to the other girls" speech a little awwwwwkward.
I am so confused. With last seasons "bad guy" Wes...they BLASTED everything he said and showed it on air..... but with this season.... I have not heard Vienne say ONE bad thing about any of these girls or her daddy's money...
i. am. confused.
A little recap for you:
stillettos
hide-n-go-seek
Gia's "lips"
me punching ali
 girls & Mr. Dateless rolling in the sand
claws being sharpened
women going home
tears
beka[me] cheers
batwoman gets the boot
tears
more tears
ali looks like she is going to kill Mr. dateless


Who will go next week? 
I have my guesses, but I don't want you TEAM ALI lovers  to stop lovin' & start hatin'. 



*annoyed that they aren't letting me center my pictures*

7 comments:

  1. I love love love this recap! You are right now... I have heard who wins.... I wont say though! :-) I cant image being on the show!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahah Beka! I actually watched it this week... good recap... I'm team Tenley! Wonder what her ex-husband thinks of the show tho. I think she is sweet.

    Not sure about V, that is what I was wondering too... if they ever showed her say bad things about Jake/The Girls. Weird!

    -Ri

    ReplyDelete
  3. I did not watch because I am done with it, but always enjoy reading your blog after. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I watched. And read your blogs. The girls are driving me nuts. They picked some REAL winners this season.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'd so be a fan of Ali... if.... she wasn't so stinkin' MEAN! She is a gamer for shorreeeee!

    We'll have to see if the comment about Tenley is true. If not, I think she's his pick.

    He is WAY into Ali... maybe he will see the light.

    I still think Vienna is super childish/giddy/air-headish... but I agree, I didn't see any of the harsh comments the others shared about her.

    AND.... BAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA the catwoman dress! For real?

    DID NOT like Ashliegh or Kathryn. So proud of Jake for sending them home and standing up to Vienna!

    I HATE Gia's lips with lipstick... but without, they look okay, and not bigger than LIFE!

    Another funny post!

    Thanks,
    Traci

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beka,
    great post again! I agree with everything. I am indiffernt to Gia. I dont mind Corrie. LOve Tenley. And am NOT on team Ali i think she cares more about hating V then Jake. As for V this episode she did rub we then wrong way but i still agree I havent see her do anything!

    Dusty

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh. my. seriously. I think Ali is goin too because Jake is about to see a not so nice side as she rips into Vienne.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for leaving some LOVE. :)