My way of communicating to someone, to show that I really care for them.
I have been singing far before I could speak a sentence. I would make up songs in the backseat of my parents van with my sister, Libby. We would sing & sing & sing. We always watched musicals like, "White Christmas", "7 brides for 7 brothers", "Meet me in St. Louis...." etc. We would be playing outside and would break into song with
"Sisters, Sisters...there were never such devoted sisters..."
(off of white christmas)
We would dance with tree branches, twirl around in our dresses, and throw leaves up in the air. We were on "our stage" and we knew the crowd loved us, we didn't fail their expectations.
Student Convention was another place that I thrived on! I loved singing there! I loved racking up the 1st places with my girls! We always did so well!
FACT: Lighthouse has taken 1st place in the Female Quartet for 10 years in a row!
FACT: While Lindsay, Meghan, & myself were in the competition we got 1st every year in Female Solo, Duet, Trio & Quartet. (Jamie & Brittany were the 4th singers in the Quartet, just different years)
Things have happened over this past year, that have made me not want to sing very much anymore. Hurts that have gone to my very heart and made their home.
This mornings church service took me "for a ride". God came and started POUNDING on the door.... He waited for someone to go and open that closed door. As I was leading worship on stage with my Marmee & the band.... I began to weep and cry out for him to come in....
I began to sing, "Shout to the Lord".
Boy, did I begin to shout!
Shout for Victory!
A SHOUT of Thanksgiving!
A Shout of PRAISE!
A Shout for JOY!
What started happening? What was this feeling in my heart?
It was the Lord's hands, mending my brokenness. My ears began to hear things they haven't heard in quite sometime. My eyes began to see the people REACHING out and crying to their God.
For the 1st time.....in a VERY long time....
I began to sing.
Not just your "Mary, had a little lamb"
"Twinkle, Twinkle, little star"
type voice, but a DEEP, passionate voice that God has placed inside my heart.
Out of the "Phillips Girls" I have never been the best at speaking or writing.
SINGING is my way of communicating, showing my heart to someone, showing them a special place in my heart.
Being vulnerable always came easy to me with worship.
When this hurt came upon me....
My communication was gone.
I began to sing. I began to really sing.
Let me tell you, it never felt so good.
I enjoy having my voice back.
I haven't been able to write with any of this pain either, but today, for the 1st time, I wrote a song. A song that I actually finished & liked.
I wrote one for Zach and sang it to him on our wedding day, but I never finished that song.
But tonight I just finished it & I am so proud of it.
So proud that I may just put it up on YOUTUBE!
God is Faithful! He is my Helper & my Healer!
A good voice or no voice.....
Sing, Sing, Sing!
You never know who might be listening
but also remember,
To whom you KNOW is listening.